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Nicholas Stoodley - Living in the Twilight Zone

January 6, 2007

Chapter 3 - Playboy Magazine
How in God’s name did I end up sitting at a desk in a house in Scout Magbanua designing (or attempting to design) clothes in a country so far from home a country most people couldn’t even find on the map! Turgid gray clouds were obscuring the sun (and my mind) and an extremely odd maid outside was attempting lunch that was even odder. Food certainly was, how shall I say, VERY experimental in those days. Being English I had informed Elving, my maid, that rice was all good and well but NON STOP rice? Could she cook potatoes? She had duly asked around and discovered exactly what a potato was (obviously a rare and exotic delicacy in those days) but unfortunately neglected to find out how one cooked this particular vegetable. They arrived, small hard bullets lurking at the bottom of a bowl of dark, yellowish brown liquid in which was suspended a few lumps of what could only be described as disgusting. Ah pork! I was told. Unfortunately the poor pig hadn’t shaved well before it met its maker and therefore a number of bristles protruded from the flesh. So much for lunch! So much for being a superstar from Rome . It wasn’t a good day.

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