Lahi

Madalas, naitatanong ko sa aking sarili kung ano nga ba ako? Sure, alam ko tao ako, pero ang ibig kong sabihin, ano nga ba ang totoong lahi ko beneath my being a Filipina?
Eto kasi yan e… Si Lolo Simeon na ama ni Dad ay isang Bicolano na may lahing Espanyol. Si Lola Solemnidad naman ay isang Kapampangan na may lahi ding Espanyol. So, that makes my father Spanish, Bicolano and Kapampangan.

Ang Lolo ko naman sa aking ina ay isang Italyano at si Lola naman ay isang Waray. So ang aking ina ay isang half-Italian, half-Waray. Now, discounting the foreign blood running through my family tree, that would make me a Filipino of Bicolano, Kapampangan and Waray descent. Okay na sana e, hindi na masyadong nakakalito. Hanggang sa makilala ko ang kabiyak ng aking puso na isang Pangasinense. Only a year within our union, naging fluent na din ako sa salitang Pangasinense (FYI – it is absolutely rude and discriminating to call them or their language “Pangalatok”, it is an insult to them.). There are times I get lost in my own ability to speak a multitude of Filipino languages, aside from my fluency in the English vernacular which I often use since I work as a virtual assistant to a client based in the United States. Madalas, I find myself stopping in mid-sentence kasi nare-realize ko na napaghahalo ko na pala ang mga salita and the people that I talk to are trying so hard to put the words together to understand me. Kagaya noong minsan sa isang party sa amin sa Pampanga, kausap ko ang aking mga pinsan na matagal-tagal ko na din hindi nakita. Nagkakatuwaan kami ng bigla na lamang napansin ko na nakatitig na sila sa akin at almost alll of them had their lower jaws hanging open. I realized I was blabbering in excitement and saying something like : “Nuko, ne, ewari kanita mumunta tamu pa El Tierro mag-ghost hunting tamu nen kiyen say kwan nen Lolo Sim, patche arakap da kayu lawen yu man, idatuk da kayu keng sako!” (translation : Naku hindi ba, noon nagpupunta pa tayo sa El Tierro para mag-ghost hunting tapos sabi ni Lolo Sim, kapag nahuli ko kayo, makikita nyo, ilalagay ko kayo sa sako!).All of it was in Kapampangan, except for the words in bold letters which was in Pangasinense. Apparently, I accidentaly injected a different language into my sentence causing a bit of confusion to my audience. It was really embarrassing, but it is even more embarrassing because this didn’t happen only once, it happens all the time!

Ang nakakahiya kasi, maraming salita ang iba ang kahulugan sa Kapampangan at iba din ang kahulugan sa Pangasinense. Gaya ng salitang Pangasinense na “antotan?” meaning “what is that?”, di ba parang sounds like isang activity na malaswa? Kaya kapag aksidenteng sinabi ko sa harap ng aking ina na isang Waray pa mandin na nagpipilit maging Tagalog pero kwidaw andun pa rin ang accent, ang mga salitang “antotan?”, haaay, mas magiging malaswa na naman ang dating!
Nakakainis na din minsan kasi nakakapagod mag-translate, lalo na sa mga bata na pinalaki naman namin na nagsasalita ng wikang Filipino o Tagalog. Madalas, napapansin ko na ginagawa na lamang akong katatawanan ng mga bata dahil gustong-gusto nilang itanong yung “Mommy, ano ba sa Kapampangan ang bridge?” at bubunghalit sila ng tawa kapag sinagot ko ang tanong ng “tete”. Kumusta naman kaya kapag pina-translate pa nila sa Kapampangan ang pangungusap na “Nasalo ko ang bola sa ilalim ng tulay.”, haaay, that famous line, di ba?

Another interesting facet of my life is aside from being a Pampanguena living in Dagupan City, amongst Pangasinan-speaking people, I also have 2 loyal kasambahays who are Ilocanas. They maybe both Ilocana, but Ate Tess speaks Burgos, Pangasinan Ilokano and Mechel speaks La Union Ilokano. I really am not sure if there is much difference but both of them revealed that Ate Tess’ Ilokano has more Pangasinan words incorporated into it.

I was breakfasting one morning with my husband when Ate Tess shrieked “bao! bao! nagdak-kel!” and I got a little flustered because “bao” in Pangasinan means female genitalia and “nagdak-kel” surely sounds synonymous to “numerous” to me because of the word “dakal” in Kapampangan which translates to “many”. So, you could probably guess by now what was running through my mind at that moment. I later found out that Ate Tess was shrieking about a big rat, “bao” being “rat” and “nagdak-kel” meaning big in Ilokano. By the way, “bao” also means coconut shell for the Kapampangan and Tagalog people.
Nakakatuwa din isipin, mismo sa loob ng aking tahanan ay may samu’t saring wikang nakagisnan ang bawat miyembro, pero sa kabila nito, they co-exist and live together harmoniously. Maybe because there is always the Tagalog language to lean on. Or maybe because we just happen to respect each other’s lineage, culture, traditions and individuality enough to live together peacefully under one roof.

Anyway, amidst all these funny and sometimes stupid anecdotes about my own personal struggles with multilingualism, I sometimes get a sense of identity crisis. Naitatanong ko tuloy ang aking sarili, ano ba talaga ako? Bicolano? Kapampangan? Waray? Pangasinense? Nakakalito. Subalit, mahalaga pa ba ito?
Hindi ba, mas mahalaga yung at the end of the day, I always feel proud of what my blood is made up of. Sa totoo lang naman kasi, it doesn’t really matter kung ano ang wikang gamit mo, kung ilang uri ng wika ang kaya mong sambitin o kung anong wika ba ang nais mong matutunan. Ang mahalaga para sa akin, alam ko na sa kabila ng kakulangan at kakayahan ko bilang isang indibidwal, alam kong malaki ang maibibigay kong kontribusyon sa aking lahi dahil isa akong progresibong mamayan na hindi kailanman mahihiyang sabihin na ang dugo ko ay dugong Pilipino.

This was originally posted at http://darangsisa.blogspot.com/2007/08/lahi.html