Fit for Assimilation
cross-posted from my blog
I don’t know what in the hell is wrong with GMA-7 (well, for one, they have Joey de Leon), but what’s up with “Zaido?”
I was watching the trailer to this new show by GMA-7, and needless to say, I spit at their general direction. The thing is, not only am I a fan of the original “Shaider,” I’m also a Trekkie. Fine: I can “forgive” GMA-7 for ripping off “Shaider.” To mess around with the legacy of “Shaider” is one thing, but Star Trek is another thing. The similarities to “Zaido” and “Shaider” is one thing, but there’s too much in the way of Star Trek in the ripoff.
You don’t create a podunk low-class episodic series of televised fecal matter while ripping off Starfleet, I tell you! It was enough trauma to know that Hikaru Sulu is gay, it’s more than enough to know that Captain Piccard is actually gay but still made passes on Dr. Beverly Crusher. It was more than enough for me to bear watching Tu’vok succumb to emotions even if he was a Vulcan. But to rip off the Starfleet uniform and Starfleet badges (OK, fine: universal translators) is high treason in deep space: a thing that makes me liable to kill off Dennis Trillo, Marky Cielo, and Aljur Abrenica, and send their remains to the Cardassians so that they can determine if there’s something about us humans that makes us perfectly suited for Borg Assimilation.
Which begs me to ask, why? I really don’t mind if GMA-7 dubbed Star Trek episodes, even if Mike Enriquez dubbed the Tagalized dialogue for Benjamin Sisko in “Deep Space Nine.” The thing is, I feel that the network abused my people: we can’t warp to GMA-7’s headquarters armed with phaser guns (the technology has yet to be invented) unless we want Joey de Leon mocking us for being so “uncool” while wearing a t-shirt with a slogan that rubs it in our faces.
Besides, GMA-7 is full of ripoffs as it is: “Impostora,” “Marimar,” and they’ve even went so far as to rip off “Wowowee” (it’s just too obvious). But why? I think even the Borg would not dare assimilate us. We’re so stupid we’re not even fit for Assmiliation.
Really, resistance is futile. But beam us up, Mr. Scott: there’s no intelligent life on this planet.
