Breaking News: Senator Sues God
From Wired:
Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers (D – Omaha) filed suit against God Friday, asking a court to order the Almighty and his followers to stop making terrorist threats.
The suit (.pdf), filed in a Nebraska district court, contends that God, along with his followers of all persuasions, “has made and continues to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons.” Those threats are credible given God’s history, Chambers’ complaint says.
Chambers, in a fit of alliteration, also accuses God of causing “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like.”
As an aspiring mild-mannered reporter, I wanted to get the story from the defendant’s point-of-view. Unfortunately, God cannot be reached for comment (He never does listen to my prayers. Feh.), so I went to the next best source of divine information: Jesus Christ.
God will surely lose this lawsuit, considering that virtually all good lawyers are in hell…
But wait: “God responds to lawsuit”
It’s not over until the Fat Lady sings!