Have You Found The “Star” of Your Life Yet?

I am trying to write something tonight, well actually it’s already early morning, but for some reason I cannot begin to put all together the  words and ideas that are flowing here in my mind. I don’t know how to put them all together.  There are so many things that I want to write so I can let everyone know what I feel.
 

First of all, I don’t know what to do with my life… again! I am tired of  my work and of what I do everyday. I am losing the drive to work and I feel that it’s time for me to do something new and different.  I only do my work because I need to and because of necessity.  I feel like I am  a loser. I am no longer happy with what I do. I feel so lost. It’s not enough that I have a job, what I want is a career or to have my dream business that I can call my own. I do not want to work for someone  anymore, I want other people to work for me. Well, that’s my dream. 
 

Second, I am tired and sick of being alone and of being lonely. My friends and  my family can not give me the happiness that a partner in life can give me. I  may have true and cool friends and family whom I can count on at times when I experience difficulty in my life, who makes me happy and accompany me in good times. But when they’re gone, who will keep me warm in the middle of the night? Who will comfort me when I’m having a nightmare? I need someone to make me happy, someone who will bring out the best in me, who will help me see my worth and someone who believes in me. The time will come when all of my friends will have their own life, family and career and the sad truth is that they cannot be there for me when I need them. That’s the reality of life, right? The people who matters to us most cannot always be there for us to protect us.
 

Third, finding someone to share my life with is not that easy. I don’t know what’s wrong with our single guys here. Most of them only wants sex in women and someone who they can posses as their trophy. That’s the sad reality. And when you chance upon a guy who is like that, it can be so devastating. I had an experience just like that. I thought that guy really loved me but sooner I found out that what he wanted in me was just sex. The sad part was that I already fell for him, he already became part of my  everyday routine. It was like without him would be so hard coz I was so used with him around me. But I cannot settle for something  less coz I know I deserve much more than just a guy who only wants from me  was to have sex. So, what do you do with that kind of man? Different women have different ways of disposing of these kinds of men. As for me, I want to kill him with guilt. That’s just exactly what I did. He did not hear any bad things or words against him from me though he wanted me to hurt him physically, maybe to ease some of the burden that he was carrying because he knew that he was guilty of hurting me and using me. But I am not like that, instead, I remain nice to him. True enough the guilt he was feeling was killing him. The good thing about it is that he was man enough to apologize for what he has done to me and because of that we remain friends up to this day.
 

After my last relationship, I’ve met several guys who I found are nice and gentlemen but I think I am not yet ready to jump into another relationship or maybe because I have not met yet the right man who I can say I want to spend my life with although in all honestly I want so bad to be with someone who I can love and in return be loved by this man. But I also believe that it is not right to be with someone just for the sake of having a boyfriend or just for the fun of it. There has to be love in there.
 

Lucky are those who have already found the other half of their heart and life. So, never take for granted that precious gift that you have right there in front of you. You have to realize that the love that you have right now is the most special thing that anyone can possibly have. Be grateful for that love. And if you have that special star in your life right now take care of it, cherish it and never break its heart, coz a star with a broken heart cannot shine.

And I know for a fact that all of us wants someone in our lives who will shine through us.