Midnight in the garden of good and evil

Even before I finished training in medical school, I have already felt a calling to work in the world outside the hospital. The promise of attaining better and sustainable health outcomes faster by engaging populations rather than individual patients led me to the world of community development and public health. The overpowering atmosphere filled with sickness and gloom, hospital politics, and stifling routine hastened my footsteps away from hospital work.

But as I’ve began to spend more time in the university hospital again over the last few days, there’s this unshakable nostalgia of my previous hospital-based life: the flurry of activity in the emergency room; the stress of rounds and reports; the need to devour books and journals; the camaraderie among overworked and underpaid fellow health professionals; the adrenalin rush of a toxic duty in the ward; the extremely sound sleep after a toxic duty. What I miss most is the almost unbridled interaction with individual patients, as they and their families put their lives in my hands and they take on the unwitting role of my mentor and teacher.

One of them I will never, ever forget. Here’s why.

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