The Secret History of The Grand Order of FAIL

November 17, 2007

I would rather fail spectacularly than succeed minimally. - Alexander Luthor

Ten lost souls wandered aimlessly across the desolate soil of the blue and green ball floating in space called Earth. Each searching for the most awesome of life’s goals: EPIC WIN. They want to win in life. They want to conquer it. They want to rule their own lives with iron hands and golden dicks. But alas, these poor fellows only ended up with EPIC FAIL:

mikeyAccomplished Perfect Pedophile - He wanted to own all the young boys in his village to be his playmates, but all he got were the girls. He didn’t really have a problem with girls, but still. FAIL.

peterAugust General in Walrus Hide - He wanted to save the souls of those around him, deliver them from evil and shit, but he corrupted them instead. FAIL.

pauCelestial Wanker - He wanted to invent a machine that can solve all the problems inflicting his native land, but he just ended up inventing a square wheel. FAIL.

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