MEMO: TO: ALL NEW EMPLOYEES/NEWBIEâ€™S.

Posted by rhodz on December 7, 2007 · Leave a Comment

MEMO

TO: ALL NEW EMPLOYEES/NEWBIEâ€™S.

FROM: HR Department

RE: FRIENDLY ADVICE FROM YOUR HR DEPARTMENT

Just a friendly reminder to all new employees/newbieâ€™s

HR Department is friendly, but the perception of all of us in HR is evil thus; we are providing you some honest advice from the evil himself. Need to fire someone? HR can do that for you. Do you want to square-off with HR? Still, HR can do that for you. Mind you, our supervisor before asked me to square it off with him outside the company premises just to settle things. Iâ€™m no coward (tâ€™was really scary you know) so I accepted his proposal but, I told him not until Iâ€™m done writing the incident report. So whoâ€™s the chicken now? Anyway, still interested of messing up with HR?

Reminders to all new employees/newbieâ€™s:

1.) The company is not responsible for your motivation. The company can only provide maintainers thus; you should motivate yourself in advance since you brag it to us that youâ€™re a highly motivated individual, so prove it.

2.) The company is not responsible for your growth. Hence, be responsible for your growth, pursue advance studies, specialized trainings etc. at your own expense and good luck.

3.) The company doesnâ€™t just provide any training to newbieâ€™s or to any employees, and donâ€™t question us why, it is because we know the difference of whatâ€™s nice to know and whatâ€™s needed to know.

4.) Memorize your employee handbook if possible for you not to suffer the consequences of your future undesirable actions.

5.) Do not remind us of your 5^th month appraisal because we know our job better than you do.