How to Quit Being a Ninja

Posted by Pimplepopper on February 15, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Are you getting tired of all the shit that ninjas have to put up with just to get through the day? People cross the street when they see you walking. Dogs hate you because they can never sense whenever you’re near. The Pirate kids down the street keep egging your house while shouting “We’re way cooler than you!”

Then your neighbors are always updating their state of the art home security systems (which never succeeds in stopping you from sneaking in and “borrowing” some stuff like sugar, milk, and kidneys). It’s hard for you to find a place to stay because your roommates have a tendency of disappearing on you. You can’t even find a date because the Ninja Code you live by prohibits you from uploading your real pic in your Friendster profile page:

So we’re here to help you to leave your Ninja ways behind and successfully to assimilate yourself into society. Below is a short list of scenarios designed to point you toward the right direction in a happier existence with the people around you.

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