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I Plead Guilty To Murdering Santa Claus

June 20, 2008

One of the perks of being home alone is the chance to think about things that I normally don’t think about. Or refuse to think about, whichever is applicable. I ransacked my fridge hoping to find something edible but which requires no cooking. All I got was a pack of lobster sticks that had expired approximately a year and a half ago. Everything else in the fridge required heat before ingestion. So I opted to starve instead as I saw no point in cooking and then eating all by my lonesome self.

Then I thought about the most interesting person I could think of at this very moment–ME. The gods must have been waiting for this move, this introspection, because they decided to create the best ambiance for me. Rain clouds suddenly chased the sun away, the temperature dropped a few degrees lower, and birds stopped chirping (the gods probably know how I hate those silly lovebirds my brother kept and how I have long wanted to twist their puny little necks to forever silence them). READ MORE…

Written by balot · Filed Under Humor 

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