Notes On A Saturday
Originally posted in Misterhubs.blogspot.com:
Friday night had segued into Saturday morning but I was still wide-awake, on a mission to find, with the aid of Google, photos of animals (rhesus monkey, preying mantis, horse) for my next blog entry entitled “Local Celebrities and their Amazing Animal Look-Alikes.†By 3 am, I had almost everything I needed (the only one I couldn’t find was Baby Arenas’s look-alike, an albino puma) so I decided to go to bed like the rest of Metro Manila.
Four hours later, I was awake, dry-coughing and feeling feverish like the weather. I sent hubby a text message, telling him “I’m not feeling wellâ€, which, de-coded, meant “I’m sorry. I can’t drive you today like I earlier promised.†He called, said it wasn’t a problem, and we both agreed to meet each other later, around 10 am, my place, after his back treatment.
After the brief phone chat, I tried to re-sleep but couldn’t due to my non-stop coughs, which were beginning to sound like the canned percussion sounds from an old Yamaha organ. With as much energy as a limping zombie, I got out of bed, had breakfast, showered, and waited for 10 am.
Madam Auring
It’s hard to take a long, unflinching look at Madam Auring’s face or what’s left of it after surgery and all. But it’s harder to take anything she says at face value. After all, this is the woman who boldly predicted on TV that Ms. “Valenzuela†will be crowned Ms. Universe in 1994 (the title went to Ms. India, Sushmita Sen) and that Uma Khouny will become her lover. Her most dubious claims, however, pertain to her age and sexual prowess. In one interview, she claimed to be only 46 years old, even though her eldest child then was 42. Later, in a televised sit-down with Sharon Cuneta, she admitted to being “16 but in reverse.†She also famously declared in “The Buzz†that she still has asim, a certain sourness, in bed. To prove her asim-ness, she publicly came out with her 20 year old boy-toy by the name of Archie Mendoza and then, as the whole nation choked in their own vomit, kissed the malnourished, curly-haired boy, tongue and all. Subsequently, she confessed to having miscarried dear Archie’s child.
