I have never been in love.
As I began the mundane task of tagging each of my old entries on this blog, I realized I’ve never really written about stuff that deserved the “heart matters” tag.
I turned 26 three months ago. I’m older than a lot of the patients I’ve encountered who already have at least one child. The cousins who are in my age group are either married or in a stable relationship. I am not.
I wonder if I am mentally incapable of finding love. I wonder if I will ever find that one man who can truly fascinate me as much as my life fascinates him.
“Oo naman” (Of course, you will) is what a well-meaning friend said when I voiced this out loud. Every little girl dreams of that perfect wedding where she finally shares her life with the man who will accept her for all her faults and live with her through all the tribulations. I was that girl, too, but none of the men I’ve met have ever come close to that.
When I see couples in a restaurant, at a moviehouse or heck, even at home (with my parents), I feel curious. How were they able to find that person who deserved their time and their affection? How would it feel to trust your heart in the hands of somebody else’s?
Love, they say, is the most bittersweet experience. I have been privy to stories of heartbreaks and shattered dreams. “Ang pinakamahirap pala ay iyong pagkagising mo sa umaga at alam mong hindi ka na niya mahal.” (I’ve realized that the most difficult part is waking up in the morning and knowing that he doesn’t love you anymore.) When I hear of these things, I feel lucky that I am not as vulnerable to have my heart trampled on.
I hate to admit it, but I don’t think my heart can endure such pain.
Watch From Paris With Love Online
A low-ranking intelligence operative (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) working in the office of the U.S. Ambassador in France takes on more than he bargained for when he partners with a wisecracking, fast-shooting, high-ranking U.S. agent (John Travolta) who’s been sent to Paris to stop a terrorist attack. Read more HERE
5 Things
There are no perfect persons; no perfect relationships but in this lifetime, you’re lucky to even meet someone molded to fit the curves of your being and fill the empty spaces of your soul.
READ ON…
My Sordid Love Affair
I don’t know if a “sordid love affair” justifies my story, but I like how it sounds (okay and maybe I like the word sordid too) so the title stays.
I’ve only had one love affair in my whole existence. Through that experience, I realized that I am not cut for love affairs. Some people can handle it, I can’t. I was on the losing end, but I didn’t know that then. I thought I was fighting for something worth fighting for. In the end, I realized, I was desperately fighting for a delusional love that I thought I can have.
READ ON…
How Far are You willing to Go for Love?
I thought I know a lot of things about love. I thought having at least one long-term relationship gives you the right to say that you’re a seasoned pro on love. It turned out I was wrong.
Listening to people of the same age as I am talk about their experiences and how they dealt with their problems made me doubt my capacity to love.
Read On…
Brenda
The misadventures of girl in search for love.
I am, like most people, a sucker for real love. Living in a society where homosexuality and same-sex relationships are taboo, makes finding true love a hard task. Yes, I search for one. I’m not like everyone else who patiently waits for love to come knocking on her door. My real name is Brenda, but in the world I live in, I am Ben. This is my story.
Read On…
Motel Rooms, Street Markets and a Church
Anna and Mike work on different hours. A few months after the couple got their jobs, they finally found a way to make their relationship work, amidst their conflicting schedule.
There isn’t really much to do on a Saturday night – on a late Saturday night. Boozed-out individuals refused to leave the almost-empty bar. Insomniacs and groups of boys and girls with hormonal imbalance, flock the nearby coffee shop, not really to drink coffee but to make use of the free wi-fi service or to take a few more drag of nicotine before they all finally decide to call it a night.
Read On…
Spellbound
-An attempt on poetry-
In the stillness of the night,
I felt my heart beating fast.
heard the thumping in my head,
suffocating, drowning me.
Read On…
PDA Finds No Restricted Place
Have you ever heard of PDA?! Yeah, I know there are many things which stand for PDA. For some, PDA means Philippine Dental Association. For the techies, PDA is for Personal Digital Assistant. But what does this PDA really mean?!
PDA, according to the Filipinos, stands for Public Display of Affection. This is also a common attitude to Filipinos, more specifically to lovers. Holding of hands, embracing, kissing, and the like which are done in public are considered forms of PDA. Though these are all common and natural gestures between lovers, doing these in public or public places results to PDA. Read more
God’s Best Gift Is Not For Me
Sometime in May this year, I had the privilege of listening to a Dr. John MacArthur sermon (mp3) about motherhood and he mentioned something in passing which struck me and stuck with me ever since. Today, I would like to share those words here with the hope of extending comfort to those who, like me, struggle with the pain of unexplained infertility.
John MacArthur was talking about Hannah in 1 Samuel in this sermon:
Listen, ladies, not only do you need a right heavenly, or rather a right husband relationship but a right heavenly one, too. It’s needful that when you have some problem you go to the Lord with it. She vowed a vow, she said, “O Lord of hosts, O Lord of hosts, if Thou wilt…” and she began to pray.
(Continue Reading here…)
